This
turned out a lot longer than I was thinking! So sorry about that!!!
I know
you all are probably wanting this really deep, spiritual, last email from me as
a full time missionary... And I thought about making a hilarious list of all
the crazy things I've learned and talking about experiences... But really...
That would take forever and I don't want to go all deep on you!
But then
I realized that the only thing really standing at the end of this is my
testimony. And that's what is the very most important thing that I have gained
this past year and a half.
I
honestly thought I had a pretty solid testimony coming out on my mission. I
thought I knew a lot! I thought I had the knowledge I needed to get me through
not only my mission, but my whole life (talk about a big head). Everyone would
talk about how hard the mission was going to be, I just thought they were all a
bunch of babies.
Well... I
thought a lot of things... I should probably stop doing that because I was
completely wrong!
The hardest
thing about the mission, when you put aside the homesickness, long hours, and
emotional drama is all the change.
And I did
not like change...
I learned
very quickly that being on the front lines takes a lot more than just putting
on a skirt and a name tag.
The real
question is whether we are willing to literally give up everything for our
Savior and His work. Then the change comes shortly after you make that
decision, and it's the hardest and most rewarding part of it all. You see not
only change in yourself and in your testimony, but more importantly change in
the lives of every single person you have some kind of emotional tie to.
Whether you've just met, or known them your whole life.
The
change I've seen so many people make to come closer to our Heavenly Father and
Jesus Christ has changed me. Every single person I've met here on my mission
has played a roll in the development of my testimony. Little things people have
said or done have impacted me more than I think I even know. All of you have
showed me more and more of who I am, and have helped me come closer to my
Savior. I know everyone thinks that's the missionaries job, but as I've helped
people come closer I've come even closer myself.
The
hardest part is accepting when others do not make the choices you know will
make them happy. I've had some of the most joyful, exciting, and purely
happiest times in my life seeing others come to Christ. But I've also been
almost killed emotionally and experienced some of the most painful sorrow I have
ever felt seeing those I love chose a different path. It's hard because the
love, especially as a set apart representative of Jesus Christ, is so deep that
it kills you knowing what they are missing. But I know that it will all be okay
if I continue to love and trust my Father in Heaven. :) He knows us, and has a
plan. If we will listen, we can know of our personal plan with Him.
I know
with all my heart that this gospel changes people's lives. I know that it is
because of our Redeemer that this change happens. I know that Jesus Christ is
the only begotten Son of our Heavenly Father, and that he is our Savior. I know
that he lives now, and that he overcame everything because he loves us, and he
loves Heavenly Father. I know that it is through Him that we can be healed and
transformed into who we are meant to become. I know that he did it all because
he loves us, and that love has, and will continue to change the world.
I know
that love is the most important part about this work. The main goal I had at the
beginning of my mission, was that at the the end, I wanted to see people more
like our Heavenly Father sees them. And because of Him, I have been able to do
that. I'm still not perfect at it, but it's a whole lot easier to love people
when you think of how the Savior would see them. And that is how we become more
like Him.
I know
that my family can be together forever. That knowledge keeps me going every day
and is the reason I am here today.
I love
this gospel more than anything. It is the MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME IN THE
WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD, and I KNOW that it is true.
I know
that this is all for real.
Yes, real
life!!
This
happiness can come to ANYONE. It may sound impossible. But the path is simple.
It's not easy, but the gospel of Jesus Christ is simple, and it's meant for
everyone. We just have to want it, and be wiling to work! :)
Obviously,
that is barely scraping my testimony, but it is what's in my heart right now
:)
I feel
very blessed to have had so many people, seen and not seen, by my side. I truly
have felt your prayers and support through everything and it's meant the world
to me. I know I couldn't have done it without you. I sincerely thank you for
helping me do my favorite thing, be a small part in his work, and for helping
me help these crazy Floridians that I have come to love so much more than I
ever through possible! :) It's SOOOOO hard to leave, but I now that I'll have
more missionary opportunities later on, and that I'll get to continue to see
those that have changed my life here in the FTM. :)
I love
you all more than I can even put into words!
Keep
going and NEVER EVER GIVE UP! I promise it will be worth it in the end :)
NOW you
see this sister missionary side of me come out.... ;)
See you
soon!
Love,
Sister Nicole Lee Calder
Florida
Tampa Mission
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